Thursday 8th January  0:47 am Good Evening

on today on tomorrow other dates...

Nelson's Column September Chips too Chavvy for Chelsea 23rd September 2008 Tom’s Place closed by smell snobs How do we explain the recent closure of ‘Tom’s Place’, the ethical chippy in Chelsea, due to complaints from the neighbours about cooking smells? Tom Aikens – for those of you who aren’t interested in the latest developments in cooking with liquid nitrogen, food colouring and snail horns – is London’s answer to Heston Blumenthal. He’s a Michelin-starred master of experimental cooking and slightly ridiculous culinary perfectionism. For all the multiple idiocies of the menu at his posh, eponymous restaurant in Sloane Square – a typical starter is “Anneau du Vic bilh and Lou Piccadou with pink fir and ratte potatoes, potato crisp and goat’s cheese mousse" – his chippy, Tom’s Place, was truly one of the nicest places to eat in the capital. And the locals had it shut down! No consideration that those chunky chips were as close to culinary perfection as anything served by Le Gavroche. No matter that it was ethically impeccable (in the best David Cameron style, and incredibly unusually for even the best fish joint). No matter that it was run by a man regularly cited as one of the finest chefs in the world. And no matter that it smelt absolutely fantastic, with salt and vinegar the strong notes against a rich backdrop of batter. K & C’s ladies-who-lunch are simply convinced that anywhere with a deep fat frier is going to lower their property values. There was a similar incident a couple of decades ago when gourmet Indian pioneer Chutney Mary was nearly closed by the residents of Fulham, certain that any whiff of masala was certain to have lager louts vomiting their way down the King’s Road. Cultural commentators tell us that Britain’s toffs have grown up – that we shouldn’t be worried, for example, that fourteen of the Shadow Cabinet went to Eton because the upper class twit living in a world of nutty class prejudice is a thing of the past. Recent events in London’s poshest area lead us to believe otherwise. Marketing Boris Has Boris finally got his ear to the ground, his finger on the pulse, his eye on the game of London life? No, no, it seems he’s merely heard a rumour – must be lots of those abounding at City Hall – that Queens Market in Newham could be under threat from nasty redeveloper types. Of course, his daily cycle ride from Islington across the Thames doesn’t take him into the London Borough of Newham, so he hasn’t graced the stalls there with his Mayoral presence, but now he’s resolved to have a look around – and he’s commissioned a report. That’s it, Boris, that’s the sort of no-nonsense direct action Londoners are after! So Last Season If you want to know what Top Shop is going to be ripping off in the very near-future, you should have had your eyes glued to the catwalks at London Fashion Week. It’s just happened by the way in case the interminable dullness of models at the Moet & Chandon Bar (haven’t we been here before?), lots of people we’ve really never heard of (‘Tatler’ know who they are, apparently) and chat about safari-meets-seventies (something like that) passed you by. Still, for sheer hilarity we overheard that Pixie and Peaches (Geldof, presumably, but who knows) were in the ‘cool crowd’ and poor old Cilla Black had to share the catwalk with Naomi Campbell in the ‘Fashion For Relief’ show; that is before she stormed off somewhere…anywhere…with Moet. Red Light for Gallery’s latest show With London’s own sex shops and suspect after-dark alleys just round the corner in Soho, it hardly seems necessary to recreate another country’s red-light district but it’s all in the name of art y’know. The National Gallery is planning on installing the streets of Amsterdam - complete with prostitutes (not real ones) in doorways and behind lit windows - in its revered halls. The exhibition ‘The Hoerengracht’ will have a peek show feel to it – not leaving much to the imagination for impressionable young minds and shocking tourists and posh ladies and gents alike, who have merely popped in to see Sunflowers, mainly, by Van Gogh. December 2008 23rd December January is on the Horizon 20th December Merry Christmas November 2008 26th November All The World's A Stage 20th November Surviving the Crunch October 2008 24th October Boris v Jingjing 17th October Soaps in Pole Position September 2008 23rd September Chips too Chavvy for Chelsea 16th September The London Restaurant Awards August 2008 26th August No Smoking, No Ducks, No Barbecues 20th August The Olympics July 2008 24th July Sandwiched Out 17th July The Show Ain't Over 'Til the Fat Lady's on Page 3 June 2008 26th June Love All at Wimbledon 16th June Miller Puts the Heat on Tennant May 2008 27th May Booze Banned on Buses 20th May Same Again? April 2008 23rd April By George 11th April Back to the 80s March 2008 28th March How do You Solve A Problem Like Medea? 20th March Flight Fantastic February 2008 20th February Dark, Satanic Turnmills 6th February A Diamond in the Drink January 2008 21st January People Wanted for Plinth 14th January Boo! Hiss! December 2007 28th December Tate That - A Hirst for Art 20th December Christmas Shopping November 2007 27th November Mind the Gap 26th November London On A Tray October 2007 26th October Leaving the Station 14th October The Sky's the Limit September 2007 26th September The Play Within A Play 19th September Fashion, Frocks and Celeb Shocks 12th September Saying Tanks for the Mammaries August 2007 24th August Heathrow under Siege 17th August Gormless 10th August Losing Face July 2007 24th July Are We Reaching Boiling Point Yet This Summer? 13th July Red Ken versus Blonde Boris June 2007 22nd June Last Orders at the Fag Machine 11th June London the Musical May 2007 21st May What Lurks Beneath 10th May The Stuff Dreams Are Made Of April 2007 27th April London’s Walk on the Wild Side 20th April Stand Behind the Yellow Line 13th April Like Water for Chocolate March 2007 23rd March So, Another Magazine 16th March Avoiding iContact February 2007 23rd February Sex and Art... 16th February C-Charge Protest Fails to Bring Down Government 9th February Live Earth London January 2007 26th January A Vote for Shilpa is a Vote for Britain 18th January Carriage on up the West End December 2006 29th December Food for Thought 22nd December A Poisonous Marketing Campaign 15th December In for a Penny, In for Five Pounds November 2006 17th November Big Department Stores Leave Santa Out in the Cold 10th November Failing to Save the World October 2006 27th October Frozen Prawns and Melting Icecaps 20th October Predatory Pelicans and Happy Woodland Folk 13th October Hope at last for east end of Oxford Street September 2006 16th September Lite the Blue Paper and Stand Well Back 9th September Of Poles and Twiglets August 2006 25th August Free Fares For the Fat and the Fashionable 11th August London Friendly 4th August Archway To Organic Heaven July 2006 21st July London - Celebrity Frat House 7th July Out of the Galleries into the Streets June 2006 23rd June Mayors, Nightmares and Marias 16th June Downright Rude in Paris and London 9th June Enter the Inferno May 2006 26th May Curvaceous Border 12th May Vegging Out April 2006 21st April The Camden Crawl 17th April Down the Pan 13th April I Want to Break Free 9th April Big Brother seems to have been left in a bar somewhere 7th April Don't Box Me In March 2006 24th March Political Correctness Reaches New Heights February 2006 24th February A Stadium's Tale: Cup Final Goes West 17th February Modern Musicals are Rubbish 10th February The City-Side Alliance January 2006 20th January February Sales 20th January Moby Sick 13th January Glass Half Full 3rd January Three Cheers for the Tube Station Workers December 2005 22nd December January Bites 16th December A Remarkable Year November 2005 25th November And a Partridge in a JCB 11th November Driving Miss Sadie 4th November Spam, Spam, Spammity-Spam, Shakespeare, Zorro, Chico and Rasputin October 2005 28th October Trick or Treat? 21st October We Don't Mind a Little Delay... 14th October Final Resting Place for Young British Artists September 2005 16th September Just a small urn for me, please barman 9th September DRINK! DRINK! DRINK!